Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:
Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "whew, that was so hard." The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards.”
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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Miami Fire Rescue officials said crews responded to a home in Coconut Grove after a man who had been working on the roof of the house accidentally nailed his finger to a piece of wood using a nail gun. Crews had to use a hand-held power saw to cut away the section of roof attached to the man's hand. The man was taken to a local hospital with the wood still attached to his hand.
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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
Authorities in Florida said they arrested a man who took up residence in a woman's trailer while she was away for a couple of months. The woman returned to her trailer in Marathon and found items that weren't hers including CDs and liquor bottles. A man came to her door a few days later and called for "Kenny." Police said fingerprints taken from inside the door of the trailer matched Kenneth White who had prior arrests for burglary.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
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Rich's thought to ponder:
If it were not for marriage, people would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A French man is suing Google after a Street View camera captured an image of him urinating in his yard and posted it online. He said he was embarrassed over the photo. The man said the Google camera pictured him in his Anjou yard and the Web site blurred out his face but refused to take the picture down. The lawsuit is seeking the image's removal from Google Street View and $13,200 in damages. Be careful what you do in your yard. You never know when Google Street View will be in your neighborhood.
Monday, March 05, 2012
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Saturday Show Features
Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:
A lady went to a pet shop.
"I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner.
"We don't have any canaries, but we have these," the owner said, as he showed the lady some pale green parakeets.
"That's not what I'm looking for," the lady stated.
But the pet store owner refused to give up. He said, "Just think of them as yellow canaries that aren't quite ripe yet."
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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A New York man's lawsuit alleges there was an animal toe with its nail still attached in his package of artichoke spinach dip. The man filed a lawsuit in city Supreme Court alleging he discovered the animal toe in his food last September. The man said he felt something very sharp on his tongue and spit it out.
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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
A deer rescued a woman from an attack in Ohio! Oxford, Ohio police said a woman left a party and a man "tried to choke her and drag her" by her purse straps and "told her to be quiet." A deer that was apparently sleeping nearby suddenly jumped up and started running, causing the assailant to become spooked and flee.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
We could handle life's stress if we could find the handles.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
Doctors in China said they are trying to figure out how they will remove a thermometer that has been inside a woman's lung for 44 years. The Hunan province doctors said they found the 2-inch-long medical thermometer in the lungs of a patient and she told them she accidentally swallowed the object when she was 12-years-old and her family couldn't afford medical care. Doctors said the woman only recently began to feel discomfort from the thermometer and they are concerned about the damage the mercury could do to the woman's body if the glass breaks.
A lady went to a pet shop.
"I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner.
"We don't have any canaries, but we have these," the owner said, as he showed the lady some pale green parakeets.
"That's not what I'm looking for," the lady stated.
But the pet store owner refused to give up. He said, "Just think of them as yellow canaries that aren't quite ripe yet."
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A New York man's lawsuit alleges there was an animal toe with its nail still attached in his package of artichoke spinach dip. The man filed a lawsuit in city Supreme Court alleging he discovered the animal toe in his food last September. The man said he felt something very sharp on his tongue and spit it out.
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
A deer rescued a woman from an attack in Ohio! Oxford, Ohio police said a woman left a party and a man "tried to choke her and drag her" by her purse straps and "told her to be quiet." A deer that was apparently sleeping nearby suddenly jumped up and started running, causing the assailant to become spooked and flee.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
We could handle life's stress if we could find the handles.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
Doctors in China said they are trying to figure out how they will remove a thermometer that has been inside a woman's lung for 44 years. The Hunan province doctors said they found the 2-inch-long medical thermometer in the lungs of a patient and she told them she accidentally swallowed the object when she was 12-years-old and her family couldn't afford medical care. Doctors said the woman only recently began to feel discomfort from the thermometer and they are concerned about the damage the mercury could do to the woman's body if the glass breaks.
Friday, March 02, 2012
Friday Show Features
Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:
Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Officials in a Missouri town said they are doing away with an ordinance used to cite a man for displaying his middle finger to a fellow motorist. The Ballwin City Administrator said the ordinance, which was used to cite 64 year old Steven Pogue for flipping the bird while driving in April, prohibited "extending a body part" out the window of a motor vehicle and was designed to keep people from sticking their feet out of car windows.
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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
A man is accused of giving an Atlanta area bank teller a note demanding cash. He left without money when the teller fled, protected by bullet-resistant glass. The man fled in a taxi but the driver flagged down a police officer after being concerned her passenger would leave without paying. The officer didn't know about the robbery attempt and talked the man into returning to the bank to withdraw money for the cab ride. He returned to the bank and was arrested.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
Officials in Lawrence, Mo., said they will not allow a local woman to display and then butcher chickens as part of an art project. Officials said legal codes prohibit the harming or killing of domesticated animals within city limits and the only chickens allowed to be kept in the city are domesticated poultry for egg production. Amber Hansen, a Lawrence artist, had sought to display five live chickens in a sculpture resembling a chicken coop for one month then slaughter and serve the birds as part of an April 21 community potluck. She said the project, titled "The Story of Chickens: A Revolution," was aimed at getting people talking about food consumption.
Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Officials in a Missouri town said they are doing away with an ordinance used to cite a man for displaying his middle finger to a fellow motorist. The Ballwin City Administrator said the ordinance, which was used to cite 64 year old Steven Pogue for flipping the bird while driving in April, prohibited "extending a body part" out the window of a motor vehicle and was designed to keep people from sticking their feet out of car windows.
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
A man is accused of giving an Atlanta area bank teller a note demanding cash. He left without money when the teller fled, protected by bullet-resistant glass. The man fled in a taxi but the driver flagged down a police officer after being concerned her passenger would leave without paying. The officer didn't know about the robbery attempt and talked the man into returning to the bank to withdraw money for the cab ride. He returned to the bank and was arrested.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
Officials in Lawrence, Mo., said they will not allow a local woman to display and then butcher chickens as part of an art project. Officials said legal codes prohibit the harming or killing of domesticated animals within city limits and the only chickens allowed to be kept in the city are domesticated poultry for egg production. Amber Hansen, a Lawrence artist, had sought to display five live chickens in a sculpture resembling a chicken coop for one month then slaughter and serve the birds as part of an April 21 community potluck. She said the project, titled "The Story of Chickens: A Revolution," was aimed at getting people talking about food consumption.
Thursday, March 01, 2012
Thursday Show Features
Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
The young man said: "But I'm a university graduate."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that you had no skills," said the manager.
"Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how."
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
German Chancellor Angela Merkel has suffered a surprise beer shower thanks to a clumsy waiter at a Christian Democratic Union meeting in Demmin. The waiter was serving glasses of beer to Mrs Merkel's table when his tray of drinks tipped down her back! Mrs Merkel initially looked shocked - but managed to regain her composure and even managed to raise a glass to her colleagues.
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
A Hendersonville, North Carolina man is losing his exotic reptile collection worth $49,000 after police found dozens of venomous lizards and snakes in his mobile home. Police seized the reptiles after the man was bitten by an exotic venomous snake and rushed to a hospital. Officers said his mobile home was packed with snakes in plastic containers.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
Never hit anyone bigger than you because it's not nice and you will get the snot beaten out of you.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A baby yoga course, which involves tiny tots being swung through the air - often by a single limb, could come to your area. Shocking footage of Russian therapist Lena Fokina flipping a baby over her head astounded millions as it went viral online. Doctors around the world were quick to condemn the technique which they say could be dangerous for infants. But Ms Fokina insists it is a genuine aid to muscular development and demonstrated it at a seminar for parents in Dahab, Egypt. Babies were also taught "water rebirthing" - involving dunking kids' heads in water to address "repressed trauma from birth".
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
The young man said: "But I'm a university graduate."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that you had no skills," said the manager.
"Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how."
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
German Chancellor Angela Merkel has suffered a surprise beer shower thanks to a clumsy waiter at a Christian Democratic Union meeting in Demmin. The waiter was serving glasses of beer to Mrs Merkel's table when his tray of drinks tipped down her back! Mrs Merkel initially looked shocked - but managed to regain her composure and even managed to raise a glass to her colleagues.
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
A Hendersonville, North Carolina man is losing his exotic reptile collection worth $49,000 after police found dozens of venomous lizards and snakes in his mobile home. Police seized the reptiles after the man was bitten by an exotic venomous snake and rushed to a hospital. Officers said his mobile home was packed with snakes in plastic containers.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
Never hit anyone bigger than you because it's not nice and you will get the snot beaten out of you.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A baby yoga course, which involves tiny tots being swung through the air - often by a single limb, could come to your area. Shocking footage of Russian therapist Lena Fokina flipping a baby over her head astounded millions as it went viral online. Doctors around the world were quick to condemn the technique which they say could be dangerous for infants. But Ms Fokina insists it is a genuine aid to muscular development and demonstrated it at a seminar for parents in Dahab, Egypt. Babies were also taught "water rebirthing" - involving dunking kids' heads in water to address "repressed trauma from birth".
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All re-written news stories are for the entertainment of my radio listeners and should only be considered for purely entertainment value.
