Yes, it's me. The ONLY disc-jockey in America who makes more money than Mitt Romney.
****
Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:
Q. Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Now you can own Stalin's death mask. Bronze casts of Joseph Stalin's face and hands at the time of his death could fetch $4,600 to $7,700 at auction in the UK. Mullock's auction house said the bronze casts are among 12 copies from the original plaster cast made when the Soviet dictator died in 1952. They say "It is the closest you could come to having Stalin in your living room."
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
Mexico City police say they have arrested a would-be bandit who rode his skateboard to bank robbery attempts. Police say the man and his skateboard have been turned over to prosecutors after he allegedly attempted to rob two banks by whispering threats to tellers.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A 448-pound British woman training with the Japanese national women's sumo wrestling team said the sport taught her to love her body. Sharran Alexander of London, said she took up sumo six years ago. She said "I used to be ashamed of my size and wore unflattering clothes -- but after taking up sumo up I learned to love my body." Alexander, who has won four gold medals at international sumo competitions, said she is training with the Japanese team this month.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Thursday Show Features
Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:
The patient says: "What’s wrong, Doctor? You look puzzled.”
The doctor says: “I can’t figure out exactly what’s wrong with you. I think it’s the result of heavy drinking.”
The patient says: “Well then, I’ll just come back when you’re sober.”
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Elias Diaz filed a $1 million federal lawsuit alleging jailers in New York City made no effort to find a jumbo jail uniform he could wear rather than the single pair of sweats and T-shirt he wore every day of his incarceration. Diaz, who weighs 400 pounds, had to wash his clothes in the shower. Adding insult to alleged injury was the fact the Vernon C. Bain Center has a tailor on staff. Diaz claimed friends tried to send him clothing, but the packages were rejected.
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
Police said a Florida man charged with drunken driving was so out of it he did not realize the left front tire of his Lexus was missing. The man was arrested in New Port Richey. He was pulled over after an officer noticed smoke and sparks coming from the place where the tire should have been.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A TV gardener has shared his tip for keeping flowers perky - feeding them a tiny dose of Viagra. David Domoney says one milligram of the blue pill gives drooping blooms a lift and extends their life. Australian scientists first discovered Viagra's potential in the plant industry and their research was published in the British Medical Journal.
The patient says: "What’s wrong, Doctor? You look puzzled.”
The doctor says: “I can’t figure out exactly what’s wrong with you. I think it’s the result of heavy drinking.”
The patient says: “Well then, I’ll just come back when you’re sober.”
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Elias Diaz filed a $1 million federal lawsuit alleging jailers in New York City made no effort to find a jumbo jail uniform he could wear rather than the single pair of sweats and T-shirt he wore every day of his incarceration. Diaz, who weighs 400 pounds, had to wash his clothes in the shower. Adding insult to alleged injury was the fact the Vernon C. Bain Center has a tailor on staff. Diaz claimed friends tried to send him clothing, but the packages were rejected.
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
Police said a Florida man charged with drunken driving was so out of it he did not realize the left front tire of his Lexus was missing. The man was arrested in New Port Richey. He was pulled over after an officer noticed smoke and sparks coming from the place where the tire should have been.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A TV gardener has shared his tip for keeping flowers perky - feeding them a tiny dose of Viagra. David Domoney says one milligram of the blue pill gives drooping blooms a lift and extends their life. Australian scientists first discovered Viagra's potential in the plant industry and their research was published in the British Medical Journal.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Wednesday Show Features
Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:
Husband says: Why can’t you make bread like my mother?
Wife says: I would if you could make dough like your father!
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A French official said he is hoping "Napoleonland," his idea for a Napoleon Bonaparte theme park, will one day be a rival to Disneyland. Yves Jego said he is trying to raise $278 million to build the amusement park on the site of Napoleon's 1814 victory at the Battle of Montereau. Jego said the amusement park would include re-enactments of some of the French leader's most famous victories and a recreation of Louis XVI being guillotined.
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
Police in Windsor, Ontario are searching for a woman who allegedly bit another woman during a road rage argument. The 41-year-old victim told Windsor Police she was attempting to parallel park in front of her home when a woman stepped out from between two parked cars. The driver said she pointed her finger at the woman while telling her it was unsafe to walk into the road from between the two cars and the other woman allegedly grabbed her hand and bit her finger.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Swedish church is attracting a younger congregation - by staging services featuring techno music. The services at Stockholm's All Saints Church were the idea of a local vicar. He sees them as a way of boosting dwindling congregations by attracting younger church-goers. Based on a traditional mass, they replace hymns with especially written modern dance tunes. And they are proving highly popular with young Christians who are, quite literally, dancing in the aisles.
Husband says: Why can’t you make bread like my mother?
Wife says: I would if you could make dough like your father!
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A French official said he is hoping "Napoleonland," his idea for a Napoleon Bonaparte theme park, will one day be a rival to Disneyland. Yves Jego said he is trying to raise $278 million to build the amusement park on the site of Napoleon's 1814 victory at the Battle of Montereau. Jego said the amusement park would include re-enactments of some of the French leader's most famous victories and a recreation of Louis XVI being guillotined.
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
Police in Windsor, Ontario are searching for a woman who allegedly bit another woman during a road rage argument. The 41-year-old victim told Windsor Police she was attempting to parallel park in front of her home when a woman stepped out from between two parked cars. The driver said she pointed her finger at the woman while telling her it was unsafe to walk into the road from between the two cars and the other woman allegedly grabbed her hand and bit her finger.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Swedish church is attracting a younger congregation - by staging services featuring techno music. The services at Stockholm's All Saints Church were the idea of a local vicar. He sees them as a way of boosting dwindling congregations by attracting younger church-goers. Based on a traditional mass, they replace hymns with especially written modern dance tunes. And they are proving highly popular with young Christians who are, quite literally, dancing in the aisles.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Tuesday Show Features
Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:
A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Curious to see what’s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside. Someone inside pokes him hard in the eye and everyone starts inside chanting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A Windsor, Ontario woman has ushered in her 101st birthday by having her ears pierced, saying she gave in to peer pressure. A staff member at the senior center where Viola Arnold lives suggested she celebrate her upcoming birthday by having her ears pierced for the first time. She decided to do it. Somebody also suggested she get a tattoo. The 101 year old woman said "no" to that.
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
Chicago police arrested and ticketed a man for surfing in the frigid waters of Lake Michigan. The 40 year old man was ticketed for surfing more than 50 yards from shore, unlawful presence on a closed beach and jeopardizing the safety of others on the beach. Police also confiscated his surfboard.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wacko surfers out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Massachusetts animal shelter took nearly 100 hamsters from the home of a man who said he could not control their breeding. The man visited Methuen Animal Care and Adoption Center to ask for help with his growing hamster population. The man said he started off with two hamsters -- a male and a female -- but over time they continued to reproduce. He said he had to start keeping the animals in 5-gallon buckets, Tupperware containers and an empty cat litter box.
A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Curious to see what’s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside. Someone inside pokes him hard in the eye and everyone starts inside chanting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!
****
Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A Windsor, Ontario woman has ushered in her 101st birthday by having her ears pierced, saying she gave in to peer pressure. A staff member at the senior center where Viola Arnold lives suggested she celebrate her upcoming birthday by having her ears pierced for the first time. She decided to do it. Somebody also suggested she get a tattoo. The 101 year old woman said "no" to that.
****
The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:
Chicago police arrested and ticketed a man for surfing in the frigid waters of Lake Michigan. The 40 year old man was ticketed for surfing more than 50 yards from shore, unlawful presence on a closed beach and jeopardizing the safety of others on the beach. Police also confiscated his surfboard.
This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wacko surfers out there!
****
Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!
****
Rich's thought to ponder:
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
****
Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Massachusetts animal shelter took nearly 100 hamsters from the home of a man who said he could not control their breeding. The man visited Methuen Animal Care and Adoption Center to ask for help with his growing hamster population. The man said he started off with two hamsters -- a male and a female -- but over time they continued to reproduce. He said he had to start keeping the animals in 5-gallon buckets, Tupperware containers and an empty cat litter box.
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All re-written news stories are for the entertainment of my radio listeners and should only be considered for purely entertainment value.